Stranger: "You're baby is adorable. How did your labor and delivery go?"
Me: "Thanks! Um....it went well..." I said finding this such an odd question from a complete stranger.
Stranger: "That's great to hear. Where did you have him?"
Me: "AF Hospital"
Stranger (after a very long and awkward pause): "Oh. So you didn't have him at home..." her voice sounded very demeaning and I could tell she was appalled by this.
Me: "No, I wanted the comfort of knowing my baby would be in good hands if something went wrong. There were some complications after the deliver that make be believe that my baby would've died if I had him at home." At this point, I know I'm putting my foot in my mouth, hell, both feet, but I didn't care. I wanted this lady to back off.
Stranger: "Well, I'm a Doula."
Me: "Good for you."
At this point, I already knew I didn't like this lady and I didn't care her opinions she had about me. We were obviously on two different pages. Later in the evening, she proceeds to ask me more questions about my labor and delivery, pregnancy, life choices, social security number (not really, but she very well could've with how personal she was getting), etc. All of these questions are private and are really odd to be asking someone that you don't know.
Stranger: "I did so much schooling before I had my baby. Now, I'm a stay at home mom and loving it. How do you like staying at home?"
Me: "um...I'm not, I work full-time"
Stranger: "Oh. What do you do with your baby? Where did you get your education?"
Me: "We have a sitter arranged and it's working well. I didn't go to school for the job that I'm in. I went to dental assisting school after high school, but that didn't work out in my favor. I worked at a dental office for about a year and it was quite possibly the worst job I ever had. Now, I work at Close To My Heart and I love my job."
Stranger: "You mean...you didn't go do college and get a degree? That's to bad..."
Me, very much so wanting to punch this lady right in her baby box: "Not really. I'm quite happy with where I'm at in my life. Everything is working great in our favor and I'm really blessed."
Stranger: "oh. Well...good for you." Mind you, she did not say this in a nice tone. I know her intention was to sound nice, but this lady had already gotten on my bad side and I didn't give a damn about her opinion.
Why does it matter so much to people what other people do with their life? Just because I didn't go to school to get a MBA in business with a minor in English and I don't stay at home with my baby does not make me less of a mother. Also, I don't think having your baby at home is such a good idea. There is so much that can go wrong with delivering a baby and I didn't want to risk it. If you want to have your baby at home that is your prerogative and I won't judge you. I've heard many horror stories about home births and I've also heard beautiful ones. With me, it was a matter of putting my baby in the best situation possible and thank God that I made the decision that I did or my baby may not be with me today.
I really hate the mommy-battles. The never, ever, ever end. You feed your baby formula? You're a terrible mother because you can't produce breast milk. You vaccinate your baby? How dare I put him at risk for potential issues that DO NOT exist with vaccinating your children. You don't co-sleep with your baby? How awful. Now your baby will die in his sleep.
This list goes on and on and on. I've never received so much criticism from complete strangers because I decided to raise my child differently than them. I never thought that so many people would be offering their "advise" when I never asked for it.
Some people.
TRISH!!! THIS!! I seriously just cannot EVEN! I can't handle it. All of the questions that are none of these people's business. Some of them are so person you might feel a little awkward even telling family members, so why in the HELL do these people think they have the right to ask?
ReplyDeleteHome births? If that's your thing, good for you. But I'd prefer to give birth to a human, which isn't exactly a piece of cake, in these places called hospitals. Because it isn't 1500 anymore. Because hospitals were made to keep people safe and ALIVE. Because I want to and why does that give anyone the right to judge?
College, in my opinion, is just a huge scam. My brother-in-law in in debt $30,000 from getting a law degree and, guess what? He can't find a job. I'm not saying it hurts to get an education, but I really think our culture is going back to learning your trade, not wasting so much money and time on college. It's just jumping through hoops and going into debt when you could be building a life. Like hell if I'm going to get a degree for the sake of getting a degree.
I just love you and Amen and Amen.
RIGHT?! Everything you just said is how I feel 100%, even about schooling. My husband doesn't have a degree for his career and when he interviews for jobs, they tell him that they want to hire him because of his experience, not his education. Its funny how that works. When I hear stories like this, it seriously makes me wonder why some people waste their time on school when certain degrees. Someone I work with it getting a degree in Art and I'm just wonder, "where are you going to do with that?".
DeleteThanks Megan!