15 months

receptionist: hi! what can i do for you?

me: my baby has a doctor appointment with dr. brockbank, so i'm just checking him in.

receptionist: great! what is his first name?

me: smith.

receptionist: okay...(does something on her computer). what's your sons name?

me: smith...smith taylor.

receptionist: no, your sons name, not the doctors name that you're seeing today.

me: ...right...smith...he is seeing dr. brockbank.

receptionist: (looking confused) okay...and your son's first name?

me: *sign* yeah....it's smith...his first name is smith....smith....

receptionist: oh! oh my goodness i'm so sorry about that! (starts rambling about how she knows another baby named smith).

 weight: 25th percentile // height : 90th percentile.
aka: tall and skinny

i'll give the receptionist a break, she was new and was in the middle of training, and my babies name can be a bit confusing since it is technically a last name.

i feel for this little monster. the moment he saw the nurse, he started screaming.  that poor, sweet nurse is seen as the devil in smith's eyes.  no good comes from her, after all, she is the one that gives him his shots.

getting his weight, temperature, and height was too exhausting for smith, myself, and the wonderful devil nurse.  he screamed until he turned a shade of redish-purple, and giant tears were rolling down his checks so much that my shirt was saturated (i won't tell you about the snot coming from his nose).  finally, after the nurse was done with him and left the room, he calmed down and wanted to play.  we played peek-a-boo, "find your nose", and danced in the room until the dr. came in.  smith may or may not have shut down the room's computer, causing a big ol' fuss.

once the dr. came in, smith was all smiles and giggles.  the dr. played with him and even picked him up and stretched him to the ceiling just so smith could touch the light.

once the dr. left the room, the nurse came back in. as soon as she entered the room, smith glanced at the syringes in her hand and back to her. he tried to butter her up by playing peed-a-boo, waiving at her and saying "hi", and he even attempted to have her hold him.  he was stalling.  after a few moments of them playing together, the nurse said, "okay; lets put him on the table.  you're probably going to want to hold him down."  i'm sure you can fill in the rest.

the nice thing is, smith only cries when the nurses are in the room and, of course, during his shots.  right when the nurse leaves the room, he stops crying.  he then looked up at me with sad, tear-filled eyes and rosey checks and poked my nose and laughed.  i snuggle him just for reassurance that i do love him.

where i need to be

last week, i sat down to right a post about smith at 9 months and how he is almost crawling. i didn't finish the post since i was at work and forgot to work on it the next day. i kept getting slightly frustrated with the situation of him not crawling because his cousin, who is a day younger than him, is crawling around. i also have a friend whose baby is about a month older than smith and her baby is walking. i was worried that my baby would never get it, but everyone assured me that he would get it.

he turned nine months on may 22 and on may 23, i received this:

i was just getting ready to leave work and i noticed my babysitter sent me an email. she's always been great to send us cute videos and pictures as she takes them. the moment i saw that it was a video, i knew what it was and i started to cry a little. "i missed it", i thought to myself, "you missed something important in your sons life."  i let out a heavy sigh and told myself it didn't matter and that i was proud of him even though i missed a milestone, but as i watched the video, i could feel the weight of the moment on my chest crushing me and whispering, "you're a terrible mom for working full time. look at what you missed. you will never, ever get to see this moment for the first time in person because you work". i knew i was just being hard on myself and i needed to see the moment for what it was and know that because i work i'm able to provide much, much more for my son, but that weight still sat, mocking me. 

after the video was done, i raced out of work and drove home much to fast to see my baby in action. i thew my car in park and bolted in the house to find my baby laughing and playing with my husband. i watched from afar and told myself not to get upset that i missed him crawling for the first time. that i was here now and i should go down play with my family. i took a deep breath and walked down stairs. as i walked down the stairs, smith saw me and smiled something fierce at me and crawled to me begging me to pick him up. he was all smiles and giggles as he crawled towards me and when i sat on the floor to greet him, time stood still. in that moment, the weight of knowing i wasn't there when he first crawled vanished because here he was crawling to his mama...me, showing me what he had learned that day. he could care less that i wasn't there when he first learned to crawl, all he cared about in that moment was that i was there watching him and that i would be on the receiving end to pick him up, give him a hug and a kiss and tell him how proud i was of him (you know, as all 9 month old babies do) and I did just that. 

I will never stop telling my baby how proud of him i am because i am one proud mama. from the little things like eating on his own, or milestones such as walking or crawling. as a working mom, i need to accept that i won't be there for everything he does, but know that i am doing what is best for my family at this time. maybe there will be a day that i will be able to stay home with my baby, but for now, i'm exactly where i need to be.

7 months

On Saturday, March 22, Smith turned 7 months old. We celebrated by taking an impromptu photo-shoot. Here are the pictures that we took:

This session took place in our basement with a some poster/mat board and a wood grain banner that i had custom made through Banner Buzz. You can buy banners similar to the wood grain one on Etsy, but they can get expensive. I was able to have this one done for about $25 and it has been worth every penny.

Obviously my photography need some improvement, but I feel I'm getting better every time I pick up my camera. Practice makes perfect, right?

Also, I want to say how hard it was to find that white button-up-collared shirt. We have searched nearly every baby store in Utah County for one of those damn shirts and we came up empty handed. You would think with Easter being right around the corner that there would be dress shirts for boys everywhere, but no. You can find a million dresses for girls, but nothing "dress-up" for boys. What. the. hell. I was getting pretty irate about this because all I wanted was a white shirt for him. After about a month of searching, I gave up the battle and looked online. To add fuel to the fire, I couldn't find one online that a.) was his size, b.) looked ugly as hell, c.) didn't have some stupid phrase like, "mommies little lamb" written on it (seriously, why do kids clothing have to say something on it? Simplicity is best baby clothes makers), or d.) wasn't expensive. Finally, I found this number at Carters.com in their clearance section. It didn't even come up when I searched "white button shirt". Kind of annoying Carters. Luckily, it's slightly too big so it has some growing room. I'm so looking forward to the day it doesn't fit him anymore and I have to go on the hunt again for another one. *epic sigh*.

Happy seven months of life, little man!

6 months+updates

I really should start posting more about other things besides Smith, but what can I say?! I love this little man of ours.

Smith turned 6 months on the 22 of February. It's crazy how fast time is going by and it doesn't seem to slow down. ever.

Smith is still doing great as ever. These last 6 months have taught me a lot about myself and what I can really handle as human being. I used to be the mom that would slightly glare at the mother with a screaming child, but now I understand and give them a little smile of, "I know the feeling, hang in there" because I know how that is. It's hard to have a screaming baby in the middle of Target and everyone is looking at you like, "Hey, shut that kid up", but there is only so much a mother can do for a teething baby that has been good all day, but he has finally had it and wants to be held and go to sleep, but you're in the middle of Target and you can't do that until you get everything you need. It's tough.

Sometimes when Smith is screaming, he is doing just that; screaming. Not crying or fussing, just screaming. He's recently found how loud he can get his voice to go and he likes to test it everywhere we go. He sometimes sounds like a little girl screaming, but I assure you, I have a boy. He thinks it's hilarious and so do I. I also find it embarrassing when I realize I'm screaming with him and the teenage boy down the isle is looking at me like I've gone bananas. Kids make you do that. You forget you're around other people and you just start playing with your baby because it's fun. No one else will get that unless you have kids.

Smith is still growing like a weed. He's 16 lbs 8 oz (25th percentile) and 28 inches (90th percentile). This means he will be tall and skinny. We're already finding this an issue when it comes to pants. Finding pants for a baby that is tall and skinny is impossible. All pants for boys are made for chubby babies and it's frustrating. I've almost started to buy him girl pants because they're the only thing that fits him, but I haven't ventured down the path of my baby turning into an emo-boy-playing-a-guitar-hair-in-face route just yet. I might wait a few years to see if Carters, Children's Place or any other baby clothing store will make pants for non-chubby babies.

He's still not crawling. He just rolls to where he wants to go. He's putting weight on his legs and does a really good job of supporting himself, but he still has no interest in crawling.

We now have a new babysitter! Our sister-in-law, Drea (Craig's brothers wife) is now watching him and we were thrilled when she said she could watch him. He just started going there and we're already very pleased with this arrangement. I received this picture from her on his first day with her:

How happy does that kid look?! It was a huge relief to see this picture knowing that Smith was surviving and that Drea was surviving as well. We love Auntie Drea!

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you've seen this video already, but watch it again because it's funny and cute! 

This is Smith trying a pickle for the first time:

Animal crackers in my soup

I'm not sure why that song gets in my head whenever I think of Smith eating solid food, but it just does.

When Smith was about 4 months old we tried to give him oatmeal and it did not go over well. We tried for about 2 weeks and it was nothing but an uphill battle. The internet, aka: the all knowing, said he should be ready since most kids are ready by 4 months old. I thought something was wrong and I asked about it at his 4 month check-up. The Dr. said he isn't ready and that all kids do things when they are good and ready. For example: Smith was rolling over (back to stomach, stomach to back) by 3 months old. Most babies aren't at this stage at this age. He was also doing babbling and was very alert at 2 weeks and I guess this isn't always normal either. However, he isn't quite sitting up on his own yet (at 6 months) and has zero interest in crawling. Anyways, my Dr. told me to wait a little white before giving him solids and he also advised me of a recent study that showed kids who start solids too early can end up with a gluten intolerance. So we continued with a bottle and things went back to normal.

About 3-4 weeks ago, Smith started waking up a lot more during the night. He was up 3-4 times a night and every time he wanted to eat. Craig and I were exhausted and weren't sure why he was acting up all the sudden since he had always been a good sleeper. We tried to feed him oatmeal cereal again, but he wasn't having it. We gave up and a friend and my brother mentioned that there were flavors that we could try and he might like those better (praise to all parents who know this stuff already and care to share their wisdom). We bought banana and the kid loves it! He is now sleeping through the night and he is a much, much happier baby.

After this experience, I put a giant mental sticky note in my brain that says, "they will do things when they are ready. Every kid is different".

I have a feeling there are going to be more messy faced pictures. 

peices

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln

Oh, Abe. I think everyone can learn a little someone from you now and then. In fact, this quote couldn't have come at a better time. 

If you blog, or do any sort of social media, you know what it's like to run across someone's profile, blog post, photo etc. and the thought of, "why can't my hair be that gorgeous? Why can't I look good in dark lipstick without looking all "vampy"? why can't I afford extravagant vacations?" etc. Maybe not everyone has these feelings, but I sure do.
I'm happy with my life and I need to remember all the things that I do have that others may not. I'm beyond grateful for all the things I do have and I need to be happy with who I am and how others see me. Everyone see's you differently then you see yourself. I will always find my flaws while others may not even notice these things. My husband always tells me how beautiful I am, but I will immediately say something negative about myself rather then just taking the compliment. I need to stop doing this and figure out how to love myself. I wouldn't say that I'm not confident about myself, but in someways I'm not confident at all. For example: I know I'm an quirky/awkward person, my personality can sometimes come across as "bitchy" because I have a very, very dry sense of humor. These are things that I've accepted and I'm 100% okay with that. I just need to learn to be confident in myself in other ways. I need to learn to make the very best of every situation, learn from it, grow from it, and be happy with it.

Enough of my rant. Here are some pictures and some updates. 

 ^ ^I love them both so much I could split in half.

 ^^ Grammy (my mother) bought Smith a mustache binki. Smith isn't one to take binki's, but we stick this in his mouth just to get a good laugh every once in a while.

 ^^ his current favorite bath toy is a 44 oz cup from the gas station. We try to give him other toys, but they aren't as cool as that cup. 

 ^^ Tummy time on the boppy is quite the experience now. He tries to push himself forward once we have him on it, but then this happens. We then spend the next 5 minutes watching him try to figure out how to get out of this position. He grunts and tries so hard to either roll over, or go forward. We get a good laugh out of it.

 ^^ Little Olive Grae was born! Smith is excited to have a cousin that he can run around with when the time comes. Smith doesn't know he is excited, but I decided that as his mother. She's super precious and I was excited to take her newborn photos. I love looking at these photos and seeing those extra wrinkly hands.

nip it in the bud

Smith decided to get sick, which was loads of fun. We had the best week of staying home in bed, going to doctors, staying up all night with high fevers, etc.

All joking aside, it was miserable. It was my least favorite week of being a mom, but I also learned a lot. Win, lose situation I guess.

Wednesday started with a small cough, so I thought to myself, "Hey, be wonder woman and take you baby into the doctor today so you can nip that cough in the bud". So, I left work early and took him in. Our doctor marked it as a cold and a few remedies to help it. Off to Target I went to buy the things he recommended. He took a long bath, ate, and went to bed. I went to bed feeling like a million bucks and was about to buy myself a 'Worlds Best Mom' mug. 

[Fast forward to the next morning]

Smith woke up screaming. He's never woken up like this, so it startled me and I rushed into his room. I picked him up and he was burning up. I stripped him down to his diaper, took his temp. and held him to calm him down. His temp was at 100.5. He didn't want to be put down and I didn't want to leave him with our sitter like this, so I called in sick.

For the next 3 days, his temp. was up, then down, up, then down. It was awful to see a baby be happy, to screaming the next. The highest his temp. got was 101.8. Luckily, our doctor was able to take every phone call I made to his office (I love our doctor so very much). He reassured me that I was doing everything right and gave me a few more tips to make him comfortable. There isn't much you can do for a 5 mo. old baby that is sick, unfortunately.

Thursday night was the worst. He wanted to be held. all. night. long. I sat in bed with him, watching 2AM television with a fan beating on us and cold rags on his chest and head to keep that temp. down. I didn't sleep at all that night because I was so worried about him. He would wake up crying, then he would zone off, and he would crash again.

It was a roller-coaster of a weekend for me as a first time mom. I don't know if I can handle a sick baby again, but I know it will happen. At least I can prepare myself, right?

4 months

Smith is growing up so fast and it has been so much fun to watch him grow, and learn new things everyday.

On December 22, he turned 4 months old. I did a 3-4 months old update just a few weeks ago but he has already changed and grown so much since then that I thought it would be a good idea to do a 4 month update.

At four months, Smith is:

• Rolling over! This is a big step for him, and a big step for us as parents. Our eyes have to be more watchful and we can't let him be on our bed as much without putting up barriers. He hasn't figured out how to get from his stomach to his back, but he's getting there,
• Smiling and laughing. This has been so fun to watch him laugh at (almost) everything we do. Craig and I stop at nothing to make this kid laugh. It makes us so happy to hear his sweet, little giggles.
• He loves being tossed up in the air. We're super careful about this since he's still so little but he loves it so much 

• He's getting really good at recognizing family and friends. Once he figures out who they are, he smiles and sometimes laughs. 
• He loves music. Craig always plays the guitar and sings for him and I will sometimes hum for him. Anytime he is fussy, we play some of our favorite music or sing him our favorite songs and he'll calm down. I hope his love for music continues to grow.

•  He's finally 100% in his own crib! He was sleeping in his swing for his first few months and I was in denial about putting him in his own bed because I was convinced he wouldn't sleep as well. Sure enough, I was wrong. He now sleeps 6-8 hours without waking up.

• He's discovered his feet and loves to suck on his toes. He will get mad if I have socks on him and he can't get to his toes.
• He's also discovered is tongue and loves to stick it out. He tries to grab our tongues if we stick ours at him.  I blame his Uncle Cody for this.

• He's a very happy baby. His babysitters tell us that he is a good baby and he pretty content with just hanging out. (Sorry if this isn't all the time, Emma! You're still his favorite Auntie!)

Stats at his 4 month appointment:

• just shy of 27 inches. 95th percentile for height
• 14 lbs. 10 oz. 50th percentile for weight

rollie pollie

 Just a few days shy of 4 months old, Smith is rolling over!

  

He's been trying to do this for a little while now and it seems like it just happened over night. It's so exciting to see him grow up and reach this point, but I'm also terrified for the crawling stage when he will get getting into everything. Oh, what an adventure that will be!

3 and 4 months.

Since Smith is right between 3 and 4 months, I'm just going to merge the two because that makes more sense to me. I still can't believe that I have an almost 4  month old baby! Time has been pushing the fast forward button too often these days. Smith is the best, and favorite thing ever to happen to me and I'm so happy to be his momma.

> He loves bath time. The moment he hears the water running, he starts kicking and smiling. This means his baths are well over 30 minutes, or until the water gets cold. 

> He smiles all the time for Craig and I and he's starting to laugh a little more each day, which I love. 

> He's often mistaken as a 6 month old, which I think is funny. I mostly think this is funny because I love watching their reactions when I tell them that he is only 3 months old.
>He is very alert and has been since day one.Strangers compliment us all the time on how alert he is. This is probably why he's mistaken as a 6 month old

> He is a great sleeper! I am super blessed to have a great sleeper. I have several friends that comment on how terrible their baby sleeps and I can't imagine having that. I'm so grateful that I don't have to deal with that yet
>He hates his car seat.This is mostly because he can't see people. He loves seeing people and watching them, so when we put him in the car, he cries until I either sit back there with him, or we get out into a public place. We've installed a mirror in the car to help him, but he doesn't care about that

> He loves his puppies! He's getting to the point where he can recognize them and he's becoming more interested in them. Ellie will lick his fingers and she is super gentle around him. Chuck just loves having a snuggle buddy that is his size.
 > He's a great eater but only during the night. During the day he eats like a bird and has 2-4 oz. (maybe) a time but at night he has about 8 oz. or more. It's kinda nice to have it this way because then he sleeps better at night.

babies in beanies.

babies are cute in just about everything, right? seriously, you can dress them up in the armadillo coat and they would still look adorable. no matter what.

Anyone get the reference to 'Better Off Dead'? 

but babies in beanies? seriously.

kill me dead.

my baby particularly looks cute in a beanie, but i'm his mother, so i think he is adorable no matter what. ;)

as it turns out, babies don't like it when they're stuck in their car seat and the said beanie creeps down and covers their eyes. they tend to scream and cry. then mean mothers take pictures of this event because it's kinda cute in a way.

Two months.

what.the.heck. my baby is two months old? how is this possible? didn't i just leave the hospital with a tiny 8 lb baby? i know as the months go by, i'm going to be even more sad that he isn't a tiny two month old. oy vey...

at two months, smith is rolling on his sides, loving/hating tummy time, and sleeping very well at night. he only gets up about 1-2 times and i cannot complain since i'm sleeping better now then i was when i was pregnant, and he is a big talker. we love it so much.

stats:

height: 24 inches (95th percentile)

weight: 12.5 lbs (75 percentile) 

Stop growing little one. Momma can't handle it.